8 Geology Facts that May or May Not Be About Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Dwayne the Rock Johnson Will Save You

 1. School of Hard Rocks

“Geology” comes from the Greek “ge-” (which means “earth”) and “logos” (which means “reason”). It is the study of the materials that make up planet Earth. It can also mean the study of the materials that make up other celestial bodies, such as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

 

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a Serious Actor

2. Sedimentary, My Dear Watson

Igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic rocks are the three main rock types that make up the earth’s crust. The fourth type of rock is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, which is also the best kind of rock. Seriously, can you name one blockbuster that igneous rock starred in? I didn’t think so.

 

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in Ballers

3. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

The hardest rock on earth has been long contested; depending on the specific metric, diamonds, quartz, and synthetic rocks have all claimed the title at different times. However, scientists now agree that nothing is harder than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s abs.

 

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Takes No Shit

4. Rock and Roll

While the land above sea level can be up to 3.8 billion years old, the land under the ocean is less than one billion years old. Similarly, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson keeps his youthful glow by bathing in the saltwater tears of his enemies.

 

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5. Making the Bedrock

Melted rock is called “magma” when it is under the earth’s surface and “lava” when it issues out of a volcano onto the surface of the earth. Magma is exceptionally hot, usually falling in the range of 700 to 1300 degrees Celsius (or 1300 to 2400 degrees Fahrenheit). DwayneThe Rock” Johnson is so hot that he can only be gazed at through the lens of a camera; staring at him directly is like looking at a basilisk, except instead of a snake, he is a super hot dude.

 

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6. On the Rocks

The Ring of Fire is a horseshoe shaped region around the Pacific Ocean that is comprised of volcanos and trenches.The plate movement is known to cause massive earthquakes. The Ring of Fire is also set to be the location of the sequel of the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s hit film San Andreas. Presumably in the sequel, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will fight with the Ring of Fire, although he could also make sweet love to it or chase it in a really fast car. Maybe he will do all three, maybe in that order. Anything is possible.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a Renaissance Rock

7. Taken for Granite

Stratigraphy is a geological subset that studies the sedimentary layers of the ground. By examining strata of rock, scientists are able to estimate the relative dates of certain events. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson also has many layers as an person. In addition to being a massive hunk, he is a successful actor, famed WWE wrestler, and failed Canadian professional football player. What a Renaissance Rock!

 

Dwayne The Rock Johnson is Tall

8. Rock Solid, Concrete Evidence

Geologists estimate that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is 4.5 billion years old. This is contested by some Christian creationists, who instead believe that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is only 6,000 years old. However, geologists and creationists agree that IMDB’s conservative estimate that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is 44 years old is complete horseshit. Just look at him. A mere 44 year old could not hold this much starpower — but that’s not geology. You would need to ask an astronomer.

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