Breaking Up With Your S.O. & That Subway Line You Hate

You don’t have time for anything, especially not your emotions. You’re always looking for ways to kill two feelings with one stone. Unfortunately, like so many ill-fated city-dwellers, you and your significant other are not working out, and, additionally, you need to tell off the subway line that has betrayed you for the last time.

How to simultaneously break up with your S.O. and that rude subway train:

  • You’re never there for me when I really need you.
  • You always take me to the same places.
  • You’re consistently late. And you never apologize.
  • You promise you’re on your way, then give me updates about how delayed you are.
  • Your continued inability to value me above other people in your life has worn me down.
  • We never have alone time.
  • You’re always working. I literally do not understand how you are always working.
  • I try not to be shallow, but for God’s sakes: take care of your physical appearance. 
  • I thought it was cute at first, but I now find it insulting that you put up signs to announce your lack of late night and weekend availability.
  • I work my ass off to visit your place, but you make zero effort to visit mine.
  • You systematically increase the amount of money I have to spend on our relationship — no evident changes in quality have resulted.   
  • My friends complain about you all the time. Even though they act cool about it, they hate when I ask them to meet up with you.
  • I’m tired of defending you to my family. I told them they don’t live here and don’t understand you, but I’m starting to think they’re making some valid points.
  • If I have to move far away to get over you, so be it.
  • I need you, but I don’t love you.

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