Keep the guest list short.
Ideally, you should recognize every face you see. That probably means you’re sending e-vites to Mom and Dad and maybe even a few other people you’ve managed to turn your eyes and head toward recently.
Get a good night’s rest before the party.
We’re looking at 15–16 hours — but don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be all at night. Feel free to wake up for a snack and playtime at 3 a.m. and then nap a little more at inconvenient times, like when the guests start arriving. Your parents will take over if you’re too sleepy to help set up.
Decorate with brightly colored streamers around the room.
Not only can you see these irresistible strands of color hanging in front of you, you can even reach out and bat your hand at them. You’ll be able to entertain yourself for hours if the party’s a bust!
Curate a playlist with all your favorite tunes.
As any two month old knows, Mozart is the way to go. You’re able to remember brief melodies by this point. What better way to practice your melodic retention than by turning up to some Don Giovanni or Dies Irae?
Plan a variety of fun activities.
If you don’t, you’re going to be a hot mess of tears since you now have the blessed gift of crying when you’re bored.
Dance the afternoon away.
At two months old, your movements are a whole lot more fluid than they were half a lifetime ago. Now’s the perfect time to bust out that really cool move you’ve been working on where you hold your head up using your very own supple neck.
Have some conversation starters on hand.
You’re an expert cooer, but your gurgling could use some practice before the guests show up. You want to make your best impression! After all, in some cases it might be your VERY first impression as a human, which folks a generation older than you will be reminding you of for decades to come.
Know that parties can be a little stressful.
This is the perfect time to hone one of the life skills you’ll need more than any other: self-soothing. Be prepared to calm yourself by sucking on your hand; otherwise, feel free to scream your face off. Your parents will handle it.
Smile and have a good time!
You can smile now! That’s great! Cherish this precious time while you can, since every birthday after this is bound to be a drama fest filled with tears.
Take a lot of pictures.
You won’t remember SH*T.