Jurassic Disney: The Not-So-Little Merdino

In the upcoming remake of Disney’s iconic film “The Little Mermaid”, the cast (their top halves, anyway) has been replaced with dinosaurs. With feature tracks including “Part of Jurassic World”, “Poor Prehistoric Souls”, “Under the Archeological Dig”, and “Kiss the Reptile”, we’re certain you won’t want to miss a second of this cold-blooded reboot.

Take a sneak peek at the film’s summary below!

The Not-So-Little Merdino

“Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl, the girl who has everything?” Ptariel, a hot, teenaged merdino croons. Unfortunately, Ptariel’s got a big problem on her claws: she’s an amazing Collector of Things, but her arms are so tragically small and ill-proportioned to her ginormous frame that she cannot enjoy any of her thingamabobs.

Although all merdinos biologically suffer from the same limitations, none of them empathize with Ptariel’s plight. Her father, King Tritondon, continues to ask, “When will you come to terms with anatomy? We have puny arms, but the tradeoff is that we are f*ckin’ badass merdinos.”

Ptariel is unmoved by this, and feels certain that humans and land dinos will demonstrate understanding and curiosity about her prowess as a collector and subsequent woes. Thus, to combat the agony caused by a hobby that she could honestly quit any time, the little merdino prepares to take drastic action.

Ptariel trades her voice to Ursulaur, her less-than-reputable aunt, in exchange for a set of fully-functioning dino legs. This magical transformation comes with a binding contract: Ptariel has three days to get true love’s kiss from the head trainer at Jurassic World. If she succeeds, she earns back her voice and remains a land dino indefinitely. But if she fails, Ptariel reverts back to her merdino state and Ursulaur gains control of Tritondon’s throne.

After signing the contact, losing her (mer)tail, and washing up on the shore of Isla Nublar, Ptariel realizes her mistake. She is now a menacing, voiceless T-Rex who needs to get close enough to a human mouth to kiss it. “What the dinglehoppers did I just sign?!” she curses loudly in her head, stomping beyond the sand into the thicket of trees and tropical vegetation.

Will Ptariel silently woo Jurassic World’s sexiest trainer? Will Ursulaur tyrannically rule the seas after gaining the throne? Will the story end in a monstrous plot-twist that will terrorize diehard Little Mermaid fans? There’s only one way to find out!

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